Moose's Rules of Life

[legalmoose]

By special request, Moose's Rules of Life:

1. Life is inherently ridiculous.


2. People are stupid.


3. Fat is flavor.


4. Of course I don't fight fair; I'm an attorney.


5. Youth is fleeting, but immaturity can be forever.


6. The hotter the guy online, the further away he lives.

#2 is by far and away the most quoted of the rules (especially when I'm driving). #1 gets me through so many days working for the Federal government. #3 is more a truism than a rule, but it's been there for a while now, so it's stuck. #4 goes without saying. #5, well, it's fun. And #6 is so, so, so, so, so, so true.

So there you have them, or at least what they are thus far.

Originally published at Of Moose And Men.

Comments

[ex-stormwin.livejournal.com]

I think I need to adopt #1 and make that my mantra.

[cooperpup.livejournal.com]

Does that mean I just became 600 miles hotter?
:D

[eyow.livejournal.com]

One of my friends worded #3 as "things go better with fat". :)

[chrisopotamus.livejournal.com]

1. So so true
2. Thus, the birth of organized religion
3. Butter is the best. A truly delicious pie crust will have a big of lard in it.
4. Oh my!
5. Beauty fades. Develop some inner resources, otherwise when it goes, those of us with less far to fall will laugh at you. To your aging face.
6. Or the crazier he is

[j-dc.livejournal.com]

wow... its all making sense to me know!

lol, i liked this!

[jarlsberg71.livejournal.com]

as for #6. I once posed that there must be so many hot guys on Antarctica, that they're being there is the reason the ice is melting. Think of it. Antactica, you can't get further without leaving the planet. (maybe the sun is really made up of hot guys online?

I love #4, #3 had me thinking, My first thought was you being a Veggie guy would impair the types of fats that you would ingest, then I thought, and Oh, Olive Oil, Grapeseed Oil, Walnut oil (or hazelnut oil) well just about any oil but Canola and shortening have great flavor. Oh and the exception that proves the rule? Silken Tofu. almost 50% of it's calories from fat, and still doesn't really taste like anything.

[l-strange.livejournal.com]

6. Depends on your meaning of the word 'hotter'. Certainly, a statistically significant number of the men I'd like to meet are less than conveniently located.

[treebreeze.livejournal.com]

well said.

[expatriate.livejournal.com]

I'll vouch for #6, if you know what I mean.