Moose's Rules of Life

[legalmoose]

By special request, Moose's Rules of Life:

1. Life is inherently ridiculous.


2. People are stupid.


3. Fat is flavor.


4. Of course I don't fight fair; I'm an attorney.


5. Youth is fleeting, but immaturity can be forever.


6. The hotter the guy online, the further away he lives.

#2 is by far and away the most quoted of the rules (especially when I'm driving). #1 gets me through so many days working for the Federal government. #3 is more a truism than a rule, but it's been there for a while now, so it's stuck. #4 goes without saying. #5, well, it's fun. And #6 is so, so, so, so, so, so true.

So there you have them, or at least what they are thus far.

Originally published at Of Moose And Men.

Comments

[ex-stormwin.livejournal.com]

I think I need to adopt #1 and make that my mantra.

[emeraldboy.livejournal.com]

Wholeheartedly Seconded!

In support I cite my last two Facebook status messages:
"emeraldboy is puzzling over what to do with his Halloween pumpkin. (uncarved and miraculously not rottted)."

"emeraldboy is keeping the pumpkin."

[cooperpup.livejournal.com]

Does that mean I just became 600 miles hotter?
:D

[eyow.livejournal.com]

One of my friends worded #3 as "things go better with fat". :)

[chrisopotamus.livejournal.com]

1. So so true
2. Thus, the birth of organized religion
3. Butter is the best. A truly delicious pie crust will have a big of lard in it.
4. Oh my!
5. Beauty fades. Develop some inner resources, otherwise when it goes, those of us with less far to fall will laugh at you. To your aging face.
6. Or the crazier he is

[l-strange.livejournal.com]

3. I make a killer pie crust with frozen butter and time. My mother still thinks I'm crazy.

[chrisopotamus.livejournal.com]

Oops! I meant a "bit" of lard, not a "big" of lard! hahaha. That tip is from Alton Brown and really... due to melting temps, etc... it's what makes the pie crust WOW. By a bit, I mean like 1 tablespoon.

I'd like to try your pie! Crust! Pie crust! I meant pie crust!

(Added you, btw, hope that's ok)

[l-strange.livejournal.com]

I've tried AB's crust recipe, and it's very good. I'm just not a fan of lard in my food. (It has better uses.) I've found if you control the conditions right, butter works well enough. Not crisp and flaky, but with a good consistency and a soft taste.

(And it's alright... I'd post more frequently, but I'm having to much fun with lard.)

[chrisopotamus.livejournal.com]

I have lard leftover from my pie crusts at Christmas and was wondering if you had any suggestions for what I might do with it...

[j-dc.livejournal.com]

wow... its all making sense to me know!

lol, i liked this!

[jarlsberg71.livejournal.com]

as for #6. I once posed that there must be so many hot guys on Antarctica, that they're being there is the reason the ice is melting. Think of it. Antactica, you can't get further without leaving the planet. (maybe the sun is really made up of hot guys online?

I love #4, #3 had me thinking, My first thought was you being a Veggie guy would impair the types of fats that you would ingest, then I thought, and Oh, Olive Oil, Grapeseed Oil, Walnut oil (or hazelnut oil) well just about any oil but Canola and shortening have great flavor. Oh and the exception that proves the rule? Silken Tofu. almost 50% of it's calories from fat, and still doesn't really taste like anything.

[l-strange.livejournal.com]

6. Depends on your meaning of the word 'hotter'. Certainly, a statistically significant number of the men I'd like to meet are less than conveniently located.

[treebreeze.livejournal.com]

well said.

[expatriate.livejournal.com]

I'll vouch for #6, if you know what I mean.