This morning's trip to the gym

[legalmoose]

Okay, so I go to the gym (almost didn't, but I told the nagging voice to shut the fuck up and went). Get in there, walk toward the locker room, and this very nicely toned boy is lying on the floor, head away from me, on his stomach, ass clenched, legs flat, feet turned outward. I suppose he was stretching, but it looked more like an invitation, and not one to be accepted at the gym. At least, not at the gym outside of shooting a porno. Very nice ass and legs, if I may say so.

Get into the locker room and the guy whom I remember having a nice pierced nipple (haven't seen him in ages) comes in, does something with his locker, gives me a strange look, heads out again. No eye candy there, all fully clothed. Oh well.

Get out into the gym, set myself on an exercise bike, and one of the few really well-defined men in the gym (my gym is all middle aged attorneys attempting to stave off the advance of time, at least in the morning when I go - the younger, hotter ones go in the evening after work) parks himself on one of the inclined weight benches right in front of me and proceeds to bench press some nice weight. Needless to say, flexing muscles in front of Moose is not a good way to keep him focused on the task at hand, namely warming up for his own workout.

And did I mention that I was already horny this morning? Didn't think so.

Go through the workout, do my little circuit, up the weight on a couple of things now that I've gone a few times. Get really annoyed at the twit who keeps yelling out, "Hey, hey, hey!" like he's trying to tell a dog to get off the furniture or something. It seems totally random when he's yelling it, and I thought it was when his heart rate would get too high on the treadmill, but then he did it again after he was off the thing and at the water fountain. Ugh.

Stretch, go to the locker room to get cleaned up. Strip down (always fun - I'm always worried someone's going to say something about the PA, though no one ever has), head back to shower. Get into the shower room and a gentleman is soaping himself up, showering away, with the curtain wide open. Um, okay. An okay body, nice amount of fuzz, but the face left something to be desired, as did his locker room manners.

Are normal gyms this strange?

Comments

[the-dibbler.livejournal.com]

when i used to go to the gym (bad sock, bad) we had our share of oddballs:

there was the woman who'd workout in full makeup...which was running down her face by the time she was done. god that was attractive.

we had the rules nazi who would whine and complain and inform you that "you can't do that!"

and in the locker room, there was a woman who loved to hog all the clean dry towels (okay, yes most women i know, self included, use two towels) and then would leave the damp ones drapped over every available surface.

as for shower behavior, there was one woman who drove me nuts and i'd refuse to shower if she was there...she'd hum and stare at whoever else was running around bare and make odd faces at them.

my guess is, wherever you get a group of people together there's bound to be some nutter in there somewhere.

[legalmoose]

Oooh, I forgot the guy who kept yelling out, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" like he was trying to stop a dog or something from jumping up on him. I think he did that when his heart rate got too high on the treadmill. *boggles*

People are weird.

[hylandr.livejournal.com]

Mine is normally pretty boring and rarely any eye candy at all there in the morning when I go. Wish I got out earlier so I'd go at night.

[ironmanjt.livejournal.com]

Lets just say much stranger things happen at my gym. If I were single I think I could pretty much trick above-average guys at will there...something about that place gets the testosterone flowing for most of them.

[deejayqueue.livejournal.com]

ok that's it, I'm going out and joining a gym. dammit, i need ambiguous eye candy and random nudity in my life... well... maybe just MORE ambiguous eye candy and random nudity... : )

[gregmce.livejournal.com]

My gym's not as odd as yours, but since it's also a three-minute walk from where I live, now, I can't remember the last time I've actually used the locker room and showers there. An extra couple of minutes of walking feels nice--especially in the winter--and I don't have to worry about getting some sort of foot fungus from people at the gym. :)

That said, there are a couple of real odd ones where I go. And two men who are so clearly on steroids it's not funny--I amused myself for months watching their muscles grow and the bulges in their spandex shorts shrink. *shudder*

[marquisdd.livejournal.com]

What is this thing called a 'gym', please? And why does everybody seem to have one?

Gym: A definition

[legalmoose]

A modern variation on a medieval torture chamber with a penitant streak, the gym is a place where people go, of their own free will, to torture their bodies. In fact, not only do they go of their own free will, but they actually pay for the privilege in most instances!

The variety and strength of each torture device therein depends on the expense paid, and in another strange modern twist, the more one spends, the more devices there are available. And if one is truly masochistic, one can hire someone to guide them through this self-mortification, with the eventual goal of being able to lift more and heavier burdens.

Sisyphus had nothing on these people.

As to why, I think the modern trend toward ever-increasing levels of masochism (witness this thing called "work" and its corollary, "the morning commute," a.k.a. "rush hour") has forced people to find more and more inventive means to distract themselves from the fact that they have no real life