Sunrise through the cherry blossoms this morning on my first weekday morning ride of the year. Absolutely gorgeous.

Also pretty darned cold. My little balcony thingey says 46, though the official temperature at the airport across the river says 38. Either way, chilly when you're cycling. I'm glad I changed my mind at the last minute and put on the fleece tights. As I sit here in the apartment my arms and toes are still a little chilled, but the shower will solve that. This was supposed to be the coldest morning this week, so I'm hopeful it won't be this bad again this season.

Not my fastest ride ever, but the point was just to get out there and do it, not necessarily to be a speed demon on the roads. Didn't see anyone else from the club out there (and it's hard to miss me, between the club jersey, wind vest and arm warmers - I look like superman in the club's blue with all the red and white on it), but that should pick up as it warms up. I thought I'd see one or two of our die hards, but perhaps they're avoiding the Point until the blossoms are done and the tourists are gone (and yes, there were tourists out, even at that hour, catching pictures of the sun just hitting the blossoms as it came over the Washington Channel).

I've been cutting back on my caffeine intake again, with a goal of eliminating it from my diet during the week. I'm tired of being dependent on it to get going in the mornings, and would prefer to be able to use it more strategically and not as a "must have" drug. So far so good, though yesterday was dragging. All part of getting back to training and getting my body back into shape. I wrote off yesterday for exercise, but I want to get back to the schedule I was on last spring before the injury - MWF Run in the morning, swim in the evening (with Wed as the weekly long run), TuThSa bike, Su completely off. That worked well as I recall, and kept me on track with a single weekend day to be a complete bum (and one night to be able to go out without worrying about the next morning's workout). I'm still on the fence about the Columbia triathlon (Olympic distance) in May, but if I can stick to that I think I can do it, even if I'll be slow on the run.

Originally published at Of Moose And Men.

Insulating yourself from the world is so much easier. If you have no contact, there are no boys to have to meet, and be interested in, and turn down, or say yes to, or decide among. And that's comforting, not having to decide. "But how can you know what you want, 'Til you get what you want, and you see if you like it?" Meh. Boys are so difficult.

That said, I ran into Doug on the way to dinner. Was good to chat in person, even for only two Metro stops. I do miss being as social as I was. But I'm going to get busy soon with my new triathletes as they gear up to their July race, and work is absolutely freakin' insane now (I was out at the bar tonight and got email indicating that OMB disagreed with the position we'd taken, taking the position I'd originally taken inside the agency on a particular issue before I was overruled - schaden-correct-view-of-the-law-what?? Friday will be interesting.).

And then there's, of course, a boy who's flirting from tonight. As well as boys from previous nights. And boys I'd like to get to know, and boys I'd like to avoid encouraging (despite trying to be polite). Boys are, well, odd. And they force decisions. The gentleman whom I had the date with last weekend is out; he snored, and smoked, both pretty annoying on their own, but deadly in combination. There was another man I was sort of interested in from previous contacts online and in person, but he wasn't there tonight when I was at the bar, so another gent who was more insistent seems to have gotten my attention for the immediate moment. Despite my warning him off, he's still interested, so we'll see how this goes. Dating is difficult, but I'm not trying to race to one definite goal, so we'll see where the various wanderings take me

Originally published at Of Moose And Men.

As far as habits and coping mechanisms, knitting seems to be a healthier alternative to drinking. So far.

Long, long, long day. We have agreement on the stimulus bill, but no text yet to see what's changed and what they still left there and fucked up. And there was some truly fucked up stuff in there, like mandated competition for grants, all grants, even the ones which are just supposed to be spread among the states evenly by some sort of formula (because it's smart to have, say, Delaware competing against New Jersey for grant money). Not brilliant, but typical of rushed legislation with good intentions.

Got several more rows done on the hat, the decreases and slips in the rounds have started. It'd look better if my stitches in the cables were more even, but I'm still pleased with how it's coming out, and I think K will like it. There's a bit of an increased urgency now, as she started chemo on Monday, and radiation this week as well (1 day of chemo, 5 of radiation each week - yowch). So I want to get it done and off to her this weekend so she'll have it if she needs it. Plus I need to know if I'll need any more of the yarn, since my one supply is waaaaay out in Vienna. It's supposed to knit up from one skein, but that can vary, and I've heard other folks say they've needed a smidge more than a skein to finish these.

So, yeah, instead of going out to drink, or staying home to drink, I popped in more bad movies and got a bunch of knitting done. And now it's crash time so I can hopefully get what I need to get done tomorrow done and get out of there to my PT appointment.

Originally published at Of Moose And Men.

With two or three more exceptions, I believe I've made it through my obligations for the holiday party season. This past week was a constant stream of events, and while I loved each of them in turn, in the aggregate it was a bit overwhelming. Several days I had 2 events in a day, and while tried to pace myself for eating, it wasn't easy. Add to that the fact that so much of the food at this time of the year has dairy in it and I end up eating far too much that either has dairy in it, or far too much "sometimes" food because I know it doesn't have dairy in it. Either way isn't the best way to nosh.

But, back to the grind tomorrow, including time in the pool after work before heading out to dinner with a friend to celebrate the end of his semester. Two of the events this week were with the club, and they and one of the parties which seemed to be all skinny little 20-somethings served as due notice that, being able to run or not, I have to get back to regular training now. In the first place, I have signed up for races, and it would be good to be prepped for at least two of the sports (and, hey, if all else fails, maybe I can do a "aquavelo" IM - where you do the swim and bike but not the run portions of an iron-distance race). And I'm trying to plan out a weight routine, using Strength Training for Triathletes, which I'm finding to be pretty informative and useful.

The piercing is better than it was with the old jewelry, but still a trifle sore at times. Nothing like waking up at 2 am and wondering if you'd feel better at that immediate moment if you were more of a masochist.

Upgraded WordPress this evening, finally. I think I was 3-4 versions behind the most current. They've managed to make upgrading the plug-ins pretty darned painless, and it's a shame they can't do the same with the site files themselves. In comparison, even though it really doesn't take that long, it seems to take an eternity. They're a victim of their own success there. Cross-posting seems to be working just fine, which is a relief (other versions have broken it). All in all I'm impressed with the latest interface, it's much nicer than previous ones, but not overly complicated.

And with that, it's time to crash here.

Originally published at Of Moose And Men.

Let me preface my remarks here by saying that I use gay.com (and other chat programs) a lot to keep up with friends online. I'm on regularly 4-6 nights a week, and I happily pay gay.com for full access to their site. But I am incredibly displeased with this new implementation they've brought up this week. Unhappy enough to consider dumping the subscription if they don't get it fixed.

I think I spent a grand total of 40 minutes on "the new gay.com" this evening in two different installments, after it seemed like I spent about the same amount of time trying to convince the web site that no, really, I didn't have a pop-up blocker stopping their wretched pop-ups from popping up. Verdict: It sucks elephant butt.

Let's catalog the deficiencies:

• It runs too slow (to be expected with a new system).


• There's no way to ignore bots in the chat room now.


• There's no way to turn off the entrance and exit alerts, so you frequently end up with a screen full of "so-and-so entered," "so and so left" crap that you don't need.


• You can't zip through the list to find folks easily by hitting the first letter of their screen name - you're forced to scroll through the entire thing.


• It takes forever to bring up a screen name when you want to click on their profile or view their photos.


• No clicking through to links in chat, you're forced to cut & paste.


• Because it's run through the browser, if someone sends you a link in another program (AIM/Yahoo/MSN/etc.), chat ends up getting shut down if you click on the link in the other program because the new page opens in your chat browser window (or whatever window you have open).


• There's too much wasted space in the windows - they take up too much screen real estate.


• Even after full disabling the pop-up blocker and getting their pop-ups to work, Every Single Window that popped up continued to display the "you need to turn your pop-up blocker off" message, blocking the screen that I was trying to see until I could hunt down the tiny little "X" that would turn the message off.

In other words, the thing sucks elephant butt.

I've left feedback with them, and will continue to do so. The stand-alone chat program worked so, so much better than any browser based crap they could throw up there. I can understand that perhaps they wanted more ad revenue by bringing users back onto their site, but there are ways to do that (force users to go to the profile page on their site to see pictures - more ad revenue/hits right there, without breaking up the other features that made the program work so much better) and still make the experience user-friendly. I realize the company is (probably still) losing money like mad, but driving away core, long-time users by making the site unusable is not the way to fix that.

Originally published at Of Moose And Men.

I think I finally pinned down what it is I’ve been feeling for the past day or so, and that’s lost. Something I considered an anchor (though whether I clung to that anchor for the right reasons is a whole other story) is gone, and I’m doing the usual soul-searching that comes from such an upheaval.

And it’s not particularly fun.

This on the heels of just having had a “what do you want to do with your life” talk with my supervisor, going over advancement possibilities, and thinking about what else I might want to do with my career. I’m fairly happy with my job, though I will admit these days to being somewhat bored with it, too. Same old issues, same old fights, and in some ways a new crew of managers coming in (not in my office, but in others I deal with) who are not quite as pleasant to work with as the ones I deal with daily now. Do I want to stick with that? But what else would I do? So frustrating.

It doesn’t help me that I’m horrible at cultivating a support network. I don’t reach out to folks as I might, and I don’t really go outside myself when dealing with a problem (save for venting here). “My problems are my problems,” my little brain says to me, “and they’re for me to deal with, alone, until they’re taken care of.” And that’s not always the best solution. In fact, it’s probably rarely the best solution. I work, maybe I go exercise, I come home, I veg, I maybe chat online, but that’s it. And I don’t think that’s enough for me.

I’m also very seriously reconsidering the IM in November. My parents are iffy, because Dad’s going to have some surgery around then and so they don’t know if they’ll be able to travel out. BC won’t be coming, obviously. And frankly, the idea of going out there for a week and coming across that finish line for something that big with no one there to greet me, celebrate with me, or just to see it happen is just not an appealing one. Yes, I wanted to do it because it’s a challenge, but I’m not sure if I like the cost at this point.

View this post at the Glen.

Long runs in the evening are teh suck. At least, they are when I haven’t cooked and don’t have food ready and waiting to eat when I’m done. Did six and a half miles, relatively slowly (though the pace picked up as I went along). Heel was not happy with me as I got done, so I’m sitting in the night brace here, making sure I’m stretching the plantar fascia. I had gone to the grocery store yesterday with BC, so had food to prepare, but then there was the preparation part. Finally eaten, but was nigh starving before I ate.

Feel like I need a massage. I hope it’s not BC’s cold coming on, and is just soreness from the run. He stayed over last night and was burning up a good chunk of the night.

Not sure which project I’m going to do next, knitting wise. I think I need to do some samplers to learn a few more skills for the next ones (increasing & decreasing, specifically) before I get started on them.

I’m feeling, hmmm, unengaged at work these days. The Project From Heck is in abeyance, stuck in our front office for noodling, so I’m working on a variety of smaller projects, none of which are terribly interesting or engaging. So I’m just feeling a bit adrift. I’m sure it’ll pass, but it’s damned annoying while it’s there.

I’m a week overdue for my normal haircut, but have an appointment tomorrow evening. So looking forward to that. It’s too shaggy at the moment, so it’s time to get shorn.

View this post at the Glen.

Definitely on the upward side of a stress cycle today, as evidenced by a massive cleaning spurt this morning and early afternoon (washed curtains, put tons of things away, tossed a bunch of junk, scrubbed down the bathroom & microwave, etc.). The main bit of it was sorrow over not running the 10 miler this morning. I briefly entertained the idea of going ahead and trying it, but thankfully common sense prevailed and I sat it out, as I have no desire to kill my legs/knees/ankles. That said, I was in a massive funk all day yesterday over it. Damned vertigo.

Am decidedly spent now, at least when it comes to cleaning. And if I keep going I’m afraid my hands will pay for it this week.

Such a predictable reaction to stress. At least it’s a productive one.

View this post at the Glen.

Since getting tested, getting back to exercise has been slow. Motivation, breaking the non-exercising habits of the past couple of months, all nasty little barriers to overcome. Still not back to anything resembling a regular workout habit. Blah.

Work’s been pleasantly busy. Big project from last year has raised its ugly head again (the good idea of an outside agent which just happens not to be legal - so sorry), so we have to respond to yet another Hill inquiry about this thing. Ugh. Doesn’t help that the particular field office involved won’t shut up and get into line with HQ on this one, and admit that they’re reading the law wrong. The other big project has been a nice distraction, and finally seems to be coming together in a way that I think will work fairly well as a narrative, and in a way that the #2 in our office (who is ultimately charged with this memo) will like. Step increase kicks in this month at some point, so a little extra money should show up in ye olde paycheck soon, which is always nice.

Keep hoping for slightly warmer weather in the morning (I’d be okay with low 50s, thanks), mainly so I can go outside and bike. I don’t want to set up the trainer yet again and have to crank out miles in front of the television any more. Unfortunately the lows for the next week look to be in the mid-30s, so more trainer time it shall be. At least that lets me clear out my backlog of magazines & catalogs (I usually browse magazines when I get bored with the TV and am stuck on the bike indoors).

View this post at the Glen.

The SOTU was a good excuse to sit still and knit for a while - listen to the speech, but not watch the goings on. I got several rows done on a new swatch, all knit stitch (I’ve still not braved purl yet), and I’m happy with how evenly it’s coming out this time. It helps that I cast on only 30 stitches rather than 42 - the needles aren’t really big enough for 42 - so it’s nice and even this time. It’ll either be a scarf or a pot holder, we’ll see. Depends on how often I can sit down with it in the evenings, and how bored I get.

Still don’t have the whole “how to hold the thread in the right hand” thing down yet - I keep twisting it too tightly around my index finger. Will have to get my friend TH to show me how she holds the stuff. Or learn continental style. Who knows. I’ll get it eventually, I know.

Interesting speech for some of the stuff he addressed. The earmarks portion (the reason I watched, actually, since it has a bearing on my practice area) will be an interesting change, and is going to cause a lot of headaches with Congress (who will find a way to earmark funds, even outside the official committee reports, trust me). It’ll certainly keep my BGA’s government relations people busy. I suspect those same folks will be culling quotes from tonight’s speech for a letter we have to finalize tomorrow morning as well. Makes me glad I don’t have my work blackberry just yet.

It is, of course, too little too late. Earmarks rose precipitously under the last term of (R) control of the Congress, and while they’ve come down some, they’re still pretty high. Not that (R)s alone are to blame - (D)s earmark plenty, too. Not sure of the solution, past taking the measures he’s going to put into place - an executive order signed tomorrow to ignore these extra-legal set-asides is a good start. Weaning Congress completely off pork, however, is going to be an uphill battle.

Got my heel shot up this morning with cortizone, to counteract the plantar faciitis I’m dealing with off and on. The night brace is helping, but I got to a point where I finally agreed with the doctor that a shot was called for. We’ll see how that does. I want this stuff done with, it’s not comfortable at all.

View this post at the Glen.